


A Bone to Pick

by skelemama_sky



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Cinnamon Roll Papyrus, Donald Trump might surface, Eventual Napstablook, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Ghost Smooching, Love, Mettaton is fabulous, Post-Pacifist Route, Pray for my soul after writing this, Reader has female genitalia, Reader-Insert, Recreational Drug Use, Romance, Skell in Hell, Wash u soul, Who knows? Guess you'll have to read to find out, You might cry, burning in hell for this, naughty words, oh well, reader is female, sexy sex, skelemama-sky, skelemama_sky, skelesinners, slightly graphic violence, struggle for monster equality, undertale sin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-03
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-17 20:07:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5883868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skelemama_sky/pseuds/skelemama_sky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two months ago, monsters rose to the surface. Tensions are high, with humans being divided over the issue of monster equality. As monsters pour into the city from the nearby Mount Ebott, human on monster crime becomes an epidemic.  You believe all persons on Earth are equal, including monsters, and you are ready to stand up for your ideologies. After an altercation one morning during work, your life completely changes. You become a target, a symbol, and a lover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Royal Affairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an interesting start to a rather different day at work, you are offered a job you can't refuse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello SkeleSinners!
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy the first chapter of A Bone to Pick! Just a quick heads up, this first chapter is kinda violent, so if you're not diggity with that doogity, I would absolutely recommend waiting until I put out the next chapter (either tomorrow or in two days). Otherwise, have fun and enjoy the drama!
> 
> Enjoy darlings!
> 
> Skelemama Sky
> 
>  
> 
> [ P.S. Drop by my tumblr and say hello! ](http://www.skelemama-sky.tumblr.com/ask)

“One french vanilla latte, coming right up sir!”

You hustle around the small street side stall, producing a fresh latte for the gentleman in the suit on the other side of the counter.

“Here you are sir, that will be three dollars, please.”, you sing with an eager attitude.

“You could have been faster, I’m late for my goddamn meeting!”, he spits at you, throwing money on the counter, snatching his coffee out of your hands and walking away. You count the mess of bills hurled out you and grimace when you notice he didn’t tip you. Some people in this city were such jerks, but you didn’t let that affect your opinion on your lifelong home. You had grown up in the wild streets of Ebotton, so you were already accustomed to the early Tuesday morning office asshole. What you were not prepared for, however, were the terrified shrieks pouring out from the nearby alleyway.

In a moment of snap judgment, you burst out of your coffee stand, locking the door behind you, and sprint towards the direction of the noise.

“NO!!! tEMMIE is nice to humans!! tEM say hOI!!”

You find a group of five young men backing three small, cowering monsters into a corner.

“Who gave you permission to speak to us, you freaks!”

“Walking on our sidewalks like you have any fucking right!”

“I’ll show you your place you disgusting undergrounders!”

Before the men can step any closer, you lunge in front of them and spread your arms out to shield the defenseless monsters. “If you can’t accept a friendly hello, maybe you should get out of the city and hide in the backwoods of bumblefuck where you belong.”, you assert.

“Undergrounders are dirty, filthy vermin, and they should all be pulverized to dust!”, spews tall, lanky man. He steps forward, and you can feel his breath on your face. “Step out of the way, or we won’t hesitate to hurt you too, species traitor.”

You chuckle. So this is how it was going to be. You accept the fact that you weren’t walking away from this interaction unscathed, not that you woke up this morning thinking you’d be cruisin’ for a bruisin’, but at least you could save a couple lives in the process. You step even closer, and you are now nose to nose with your rival.

“Fucking do it then.”

The gangling man knocks his head into your’s, and you collapse in pain. Immediately, you were surrounded by the remaining attackers. You zone out, trying not to focus on the barrage of fists and feet hurling into your body, but instead on the creatures you were trying to protect. Your eyes finally find the three monsters, taking off towards the main street. You smile, knowing they would be safe, but that only infuriates the stringy man. He grips you by the hair and lifts you up onto your feet.

“How does it feel knowing you’re getting your ass beat for a bunch of freaks?!”, he growls at you. You have little time to react to the fist flying towards your face before it makes contact with your left eye. A sound of pain retches itself from your abdomen, and you strain to see, blood and tears dripping down your face. You feel a hand lift your chin up, and you can barely make out the face in front of you. Brown, piercing eyes stab daggers through your soul, as the lanky man’s hand made its way from your chin to your throat. You gasp for air, only to struggle in his grasp. This is it. This is how you were going to go. Your eyes begin to close, and you feel your life slipping away.

  
A blue light flashes at the end of the alleyway, and you hear the sound of crunching bones. The hand that was gripping your throat is gone, and you are able to make out a faint figure walking towards you, before falling into unconsciousness.

 

* * *

 

You wince as you attempt to open your eyes. Your left eye is swelled shut and was throbbing in pain. You sit up, expecting to find yourself in a hospital, only to be confused by your surroundings. You're in a cozy, rustic bedroom, wearing an oversized lilac nightgown. You reach into your pocket to check your phone, which read Wednesday, 10:17 am. Wow, you had slept through an entire day. You must have been seriously hurting. Curious as to where you ended up after yesterday's altercation, you decided to investigate. As you move to stand up, your legs give out from under you and you collapse towards the floor. You yelp in pain and grab the bed for support, trying to keep yourself steady.

"Whatcha gettin' outta bed for, kiddo?"

You look over to find a skeleton wearing a black t-shirt and gray joggers standing in the doorway to the room. "Didn't know where I was, this place doesn't look like a hospital.", you utter, struggling to keep yourself balanced. The monster moves over to you and grips your sides. "This is the King and Queen's guest room, kid. Didn't think I was going to bring you to some cruddy hospital, did ya?", speaks the skeleton. He gently lifts you back onto the bed, making sure not to bump any of your limbs, then sits beside you. "I got told you had a little run in with some assholes, so I decided to come check it out. I'm Sans, by the way."

You give him your name, and he nods in acknowledgment.

Your mind wanders back to the glowing blue light and the violent snapping of bones. Was he really the person that saved you from those lunatics? I mean sure, most monsters were stronger than people, but this guy.. He wasn't terribly short, but he was nowhere near the height of the lanky man from last night, and there was definitely no way he could have taken on five men by himself. He just seemed too casual to involve himself in that kind of thing. Replaying the events of that morning, you remember the entire reasoning behind your actions.

"Did the little guys make it out okay?", you stammer, worried for their safety.

"Yeah, the temmies are fine. I'd focus more on your health right now. You took quite the beating yesterday.", he murmured, moving in to inspect your bruised eye. You hadn't even thought of your other injuries before trying to get up, but that's just like you, ready to rush into action without thinking.

"All that matters is that they made it out alright. Things could have gone a lot worse than they did."

"You almost died.", Sans whispers, furrowing his eyebrows.

"They would have if I hadn't stepped in."

"So you care about a bunch of monsters more than yourself?", he asks, backing away to look you in your working eye.

"I care that innocent people don't die because of a bunch of criminally insane jackasses."

"You really are one of a kind, aren't ya, kiddo?", he mutters, giving you a smirk.

You feel your cheeks getting red, and you fall back onto the bed.

 "Don't patronize me, I just didn't want to let them get away with anything.", you pout.

"Whatever you say, sweetheart. Just glad I got to you before it was too late.", he sighs, reaching over to the nightstand next to the bed. "Sit up.", he prompts. You struggle to sit up, groaning at the request. "Don't make that noise at me, kid. I'll just take the magic healing food and leave."

"Magic healing food?", you ask, intrigued.

"Yeah, monster food has healing properties. You'll be all good as soon as you eat this crab apple.", he holds up a strangely shaped apple. You hold out both hands, and he drops the fruit into them. "Eat up, kiddo."

You bring the apple to your face and take a small bite. The taste is interesting, to say the least. Twice as sour as a Granny Smith. You struggle to continue eating the apple, your face puckering more with every bite. Sans can't help but chuckle at your expression, as you quickly work to consume the magical fruit. Several seconds after finishing the apple, you feel the magic's warm buzz coursing through you and you feel the dull ache in your bones slowly fading away. Your hands immediately move to your swollen eye, only to find that it has completely recovered.

"Holy shit! I didn't realize it worked like this!", you exclaim, shocked at the sudden healing properties of the magical food.

"Heh, yeah, it's pretty cool, huh?", he grinned, enthused by your reaction.

You place your hand on his arm and properly look him in the eye sockets now that your eye has healed. "Thank you for saving me, Sans. If there is any way I can repay you, please let me know.", you shoot him a shy smile.

His cheeks tinge a slight shade of blue as he backs away slightly. "Actually, about that. Why don't you get dressed and we can go meet the King and Queen? They have something they want to talk to you about.", he states.

You finally process the fact that you are in the guest room of the King and Queen of monsters. Holy fuck. You are being housed by royalty. They probably saw your puffy eye and bruised body. This was no way to meet royalty. You shoot Sans a concerned look but he only snickers and strolls towards the door.

"Don't worry, they're nice people. There are clothes in the wardrobe. You don't need to wear anything fancy, just be yourself, kiddo. I'll be outside when you're ready to walk over.", he says before walking out of the room, closing the door behind him. You scramble over to the wardrobe and begin decisively evaluating every piece of clothing. There was no way you could have been prepared to meet royalty.

 

* * *

 

 

After deciding on a large red sweater dress, you step outside the bedroom and find Sans leaning on the wall across from you. "You ready?", he asks, before chuckling at you. "The queen's wardrobe is a little big for you, isn't it?" The light in his eyes scour your body, taking in the sight of the red fabric hanging loosely around you. You cross your arms and shoot him a disapproving look.

"Hey pal, you may have saved me and all, but that doesn't give you a free pass to check me out.", you bark at him. A mortified expression slowly spreads across his face, replacing his goofy grin.

"Jeez kiddo, it wasn't like that. You just look kinda silly wearing that dress is all. Throw me a _bone_  here.", he replies sheepishly. You can't help but giggle at his ridiculous remark. You can't really blame him, this dress was pretty oversized after all.

"Fine, fine. Let's get a move on though. I don't want to keep the King and Queen waiting."

"Of course, wouldn't want them to get  _bonely_.", the skeleton winks and begins leading you down the hallway.

"Sweet Jesus, you and the goddamn puns.", you reply with a snicker. You hear him laugh lightly under his breath.

You continue to follow Sans, winding around twisting halls and immaculate works of art. You enter a long hallway, lined with marble columns and stained glass windows. The sight of such a beautiful hallway takes your breath away. You struggle to keep up with your skeleton tour guide as you try to take in the decorated hall.

"Kid, I know you're not wearing shoes, but you really should try to keep up. It's easy to get lost in here.", Sans chortles.

You look down, embarrassed to realize you had completely forgotten about shoes, and come to a halt.

"Oh my god, I'm such an idiot! How did I forget about shoes! The King and Queen are going to think I'm a hobo or something.", you frown.

"Calm down kiddo. They don't care what you look like, much like you didn't care what the temmies looked like. Catch my drift?", he replies softly.

You breathe a sigh of relief. You hope he's right. Your gut is telling you to trust your new found skeleton acquaintance, but your heart still feels uneasy about the whole situation. You were just a lowly barista working to make ends meet, and now you were about to meet the rulers of monsterkind. No amount of preparation could have made you ready for this. These people were royalty for fuck's sake, and you worked your ass off for minimum wage almost every day.

Sans stops in front of a golden archway. "Okay, right through here.", Sans turns, showing off a wide grin of approval. "I'll be right behind you kiddo."

You gulp and walk through the entranceway, into a spectacular garden filled with every color flower imaginable to the human psyche. In the center of the yard sit two wooden thrones, surrounded by yellow buttercups. You glance over at Sans, whose expression tightens at the sight of the flowers. There is no time to question his strange behavior, as the King and Queen already have you in their sights. You make your way over to them, feet treading through the dirt, and bow, shaking slightly as you do.

"My child, no need for such formalities here.", the Queen speaks softly. She gives off a fairly welcoming, almost maternal aura. "I am Toriel, and this is my husband, Asgore."

You immediately straighten up and begin to rub your arm nervously. You attempt to introduce yourself, only to be cut off by the larger, fluffier monster.

"We know who you are, human.", the King booms. "We do our research when it comes to matters such as this."

You start to tremble slightly when you hear this. How had they found out your identity? Why were they so concerned about you? Sure, you saved the lives of a few monsters, but in your mind, you were just doing what anyone should have done.

Toriel stands up and takes your hands between her giant, furry paws. "Thank you so much for your dedication to monsterkind. Not many humans have the compassion you do." 

You stand there in complete awe as Asgore moves besides his wife. "You have shown not only us, but the world, that monsters and humans can truly be equal." He places a paw on your shoulder and looks into your eyes. "Your actions and your bravery have not gone unnoticed. You have become an object of the public's eye and there is no going back from that now. This is what we wanted to speak to you about."

"Our current and only human ambassador is the child that helped set us free.", Toriel murmurs affectionately at the mention of the child. "But, many people do not take the child as a serious ambassador."

"We need someone to help us negotiate with humans and boost our public standing.", Asgore states. "Someone who has already proven themselves a true champion for monster equality. Someone like you, human."

Toriel squeezes your hands and coos your name. "We know this is sudden, but would you be our second human ambassador?"

You can't believe what you've just been told. The King and Queen of monsterkind want you to be their ambassador, a political figure in their kingdom! You've always felt extremely passionate about politics, but you had only dreamed of having a political career. You would finally be able to leave that terrible job at the coffee stand! You might as well face it, if the world had found out about yesterday morning, there was no chance you could ever continue living a normal life anyways. There is absolutely no way you could refuse such an offer.

"Say no more. I'll do it!", you beam. Toriel and Asgore engulf you in a group hug, and you have to giggle. Yesterday morning you didn't imagine you'd be squished in between monster royalty.

"Splendid news!", roars Asgore. The duo quietly shuffle back to their thrones. "Of course, you will be given housing and security. Think of that guest room as your's until we can come up with a suitable place for you. I will also be appointing Sans as your personal bodyguard."

You glance over at Sans, who nods in understanding, and then smirks in your direction. Well, at least you knew you would be safe from external threats. There was no saving you from his cheesy jokes, though.

"And of course, you will be fitted with a public relations manager!", chimed Toriel.

"Public relations manager?", you ask, but before anyone can give you an answer, a voice rings out from behind you.

"Hello, darling!"


	2. Body Guard, Boney Guard.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've been tasked with your first assignment as a monster ambassador! Wowie!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Skelesinners!
> 
> My laptop broke, but now I'm back and better than ever! How are you doing? Hope you enjoyed the first installment of my little story of sin. Who's ready for Chapter Two? Time for Sans/Reader cuteness! Hope y'all enjoy!
> 
> Bless u souls!
> 
> Skelemama Sky
> 
> [ Come whisper your dirty sinner thoughts in my ask box! ](http://www.skelemama-sky.tumblr.com/ask)

You turn around and find Hollywood's newest craze standing in the entrance to the garden. His long, luxurious legs make slow, skillful strides in your direction. Before you know it, the magical robot is standing directly in front of you. His pink, glowing eyes stare into yours as if he was evaluating your very existence. The metal man takes a step back, shifting his weight to his back leg, and eyes you from your head to your toes. "Yes, I can work with this.", he mumbles." "I'm Mettaton, your new public relations manager.", he boasts with a cheery wink.

You were going to have a Hollywood bigshot as your PR manager?! I mean yes, you knew your PR manager would most likely be a monster, but you did not expect to meet TV's hottest celebrity. He was on everything from talk shows to cooking shows, and even the home decorating channel. This guy had to be on TV at least once a day, if that. Everyone wanted the Underground's shining star on their show, and now he was going to be your manager. You couldn't help but feel yourself getting giddy.

"Wow, you guys really got me the best, didn't you?", you sideglance at Toriel and Asgore, who nod in agreement.

"Your flattery is too kind.", Mettaton blushes, but you're curious as to whether or not that's just part of his programming. "Anywho, I've been tasked with making sure you keep a respectable public standing. Making sure the press puts out positive stories, help you with your public speaking, anything that will help you connect with your audience!" He beams, and spins around, bringing his hands to his chest. "We will make a star out of you yet, darling. Just you wait."

"Hey pal, I think maybe we should focus on, ya'know, the issues more than we should on the kiddo, am I right?", mumbles Sans. Mettaton turns sharply and shoots him a look, before turning back to you and taking your hand. "Oh, we must begin to talk about your press release!"

"Press release?", you utter, confused as to what he was talking about.

"Yes, your act of bravery has taken the world by a storm.", Toriel chimes. "Everyone is curious to learn of your condition."

"We need to show these menaces we are ready to bounce back and take the fight to them!", Asgore booms. Toriel turns to him and glares. He catches her reaction out of the corner of his eye. "N-not with violence, of course! With diplomacy!", he manages to stammer out. Toriel shifts back to her original position and folds her arms.

"Show the world that monsters are more civilized than people believe.", Toriel speaks softly with a smug expression. Asgore's eyes move towards the floor as she speaks, a look of shame spreading across his face.

"Uh, and how exactly should I do that?", you ask. You weren't exactly expecting to become the spokesperson for Monsterkind, let alone speak to practically the entire world so soon. Your eyes quickly dart from face to face, then down to the floor. You didn't want to disappoint everyone, but you'd never really prepped yourself for the life of a diplomat.

Sans steps forward. "Take that passion you showed everyone a couple days ago and use it to spread your message.", his voice slices through your uncertainty. "You don't have to be a wordsmith, just show them your determination. You'll knock 'em dead, kid." You smile and look over at Sans. He shoots you a quick wink, then steps over next to Toriel. "Tori and Fluffybuns wouldn't have asked you to do this if they didn't think you could get the job done."

All of a sudden, Asgore's eyes bulge out of his head and Toriel and Mettaton burst into laughter.

"Fluffybuns?", you look at Sans, confused.

"N-nevermind that!", Asgore stutters. "If you accept this task, we will schedule the press release for 6 o'clock tonight."

All eyes are on you now. There is no doubt in your mind about what you should do. "I'll be ready.", you beam. The king and queen give you a warm smile before Toriel turns to Mettaton.

"You can have her ready by 5, yes?", she asks. You look over at the robot, whose face has twisted into an expression of enthusiasm.

"You betcha darling!", Mettaton chimes. "I'll have her all dolled up in no time at all!"

"Just remember, less is more.", Toriel says with a stern expression.

"Okay, okay, I get it. I won't glitz her up.. today.", the robot teases. "Sans, be a good friend and take care of our friend while I go shop for supplies." Mettaton swiftly pats you on the head. "Don't go causing any trouble while I'm gone!", he squeaks before gliding out of the room.

"You got it, mom.", you mutter under your breath. Sans chuckles at your comment and Toriel sighs.

"Kid, why don't I show you around a bit? Betcha never been to this side of town.", he murmurs with a wink. You didn't even know where the castle was. You had absolutely no idea where you were, and that slightly frightened you. But these people seemed nice enough, and Sans did save your life, so you could probably trust them to keep you safe.

"You got it, bonehead.", you smile back at the skeleton. The light in his eye sockets rolls up into his head. You walk up to Toriel and Asgore and shake their paws. "It was very nice to meet you both. I'm excited about the work we'll be doing together!", you smile.

"Yes, this partnership will bring great things for both of our races.", Asgore boasts.

"See you soon, my child!", coos Toriel.

After a pleasant goodbye, you turn to Sans, who is leaned against the golden archway you came through. "Let's roll, kiddo. We have three hours before Glambot comes back to mess up your face."

 

* * *

 

You follow Sans back down the stained glass walkway, through the elongated hallways, and finally back to your room. He stops in front of the door and turns to you. "You may want to put something on that's more.. your size.", he chortles. You look down at the thick, giant fabric engulfing your figure and giggle in agreement. "While we were talking to the king and queen, I had a friend come by to loan you an outfit. It should be on the bed. When you're ready, we'll take a walk.

You nod, then enter your room. On the bed, you find a black tank top, black leggings and black socks. You quickly shrug off the gigantic itchy mess and climb into the snug, comfy attire. Whoever this friend was, was an absolute blessing. There was no way you could have walked around all day in that oversized dress. You begin to run towards the door before you remember you need shoes. You walk over to the nightstand and pick up your sneakers. There's no way you're going to forget your shoes again. You have to start showing these people that you have some competence in you. You walk out of the room and find Sans leaning on the wall across from the door once again.

"You look much more comfortable.", he smirks.

"Almost as comfortable as you, leaning against that wall.", you respond. "Watch out, or you're going to wear a hole through to the other side."

"Wouldn't be here so long if you didn't take forever to get dressed.", the skeleton winks. You grumble at this remark, but decide you'd get him back for it later. "Let's go, kid. I got a bunch of stuff to show you."

"Lead the way, your highness.", you mumble sarcastically. His smile widens as he straightens up and begins walking down the unexplored half of the hallway. You follow closely behind. Surprisingly, it doesn't take that long before you make it to an elevator. He hits the button and the door pops open. "In here, kiddo."

"In here, kiddo."

You step into the elevator and as soon as the door closes, you shoot downwards. You begin to scream and look up at Sans, who's burst into laughter. The elevator slams to a halt, and the doors open to a dark room with a narrow walkway.

Then you notice you're hugging his arm for dear life.

You stumble away and adjust yourself. You can feel the blood beginning to pool in your cheeks and bring your gaze to the floor. Sans finally finishes laughing when he notices you've removed yourself from his arm.

"Aw, sweetheart, if you wanted to hold me you could have just asked."

"I-it's not like that!", you stammer. You feel your cheeks getting hotter. "I didn't know what was happening. Human elevators don't work like that!"

"Excuses, excuses.", he chuckles softly. "C'mon, let's get a move on before you turn completely red." He steps out of the elevator and begins walking.

"H-hey! Shut up!", you squeak as you try to keep up with him. He stops at the end of the path, in front of a black set of double doors.

"Are you ready to learn where you are?", he asks, giving you an enthusiastic expression.

"I've been ready since I woke up.", you reply.

"Okay kid, here we go.", he gives the doors a push, and you're greeted by a warm light. "Welcome to the Underground."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I'm sorry for my disappearance. My sister kinda smashed my laptop and I was left with no way to get y'all your dirty sinner kicks. New chapter will be out Saturday! Get ready for some adventures, and possibly tears! Who knows? I sure as hell don't. Don't be afraid to drop a comment or an ask in my tumblr, linked above. I love hearing from you guys! Makes my day.
> 
> Have a good one, skelesinners!
> 
> Skelemama Sky


End file.
